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.wandering ballerina.
Below are the 25 most recent journal entries.
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2008.07.23 10.22
On being really rich..
On the way to the office this morning, I was listening to the radio and something I heard really struck me, it kinda goes like -- the more one gives oneself the to the world, the more rich he becomes.
This, got my thoughts churning.
So what does it really entail to give oneself to the world? Is it in the way we CONNECT with people? Is it in the way we make a conscious effort to make a difference in the lives of other people? Is it in our genuine interest in life? It may be one of these, and it may be all. One thing constant here is the innate ability and desire to take control of the situation and be open and receptive to what everyday holds. So how does "richness" come to the picture? I see it as both in an intangible and tangible form... In the process of exploring life we meet people who change our lives and enrich us with opportunities and experiences that create the richness that no one can take away, it is in these times that our true character shines through. Tangible blessings come our way through these people who experience our warmth and authenticity (true charisma). I think nothing else is more appealing and attractive than honesty and eagerness to be a difference or, even to just be a breath of fresh air to people around.
I see myself constantly undergoing change and "renovation" hence an uplift of a self that is aware and ready to face the daily exchange of experience our world has. I see myself as a person absorbing all the great things the world has to offer. I seek more, not in the selfish type of way as I know that there are so many self-indulgent people(me too)sadly unconscious of this fact. I guess it comes from the general sense of apathy and indifference most people (including me) have about what's happening in the world.
I see the world today, and I see so many sad and miserable people. I'm not trying to put myself in the pedestal but constantly, people (me included) forget just how blessed we are with what we already have. Yes, all of us are experiencing hard times but it's up to us to make the situation better or worse.
Ironical as it may seem, I may be contradicting myself in more ways than one in this post, its a mental release of certain hopes, which I know will be heard and acted upon in God's right time. I see no sense in holding back and letting past hurts haunt us when there are BIG and bright tomorrows just waiting to be seized. I want to learn from life and I want to share it to the world. I know my idealism has been shattered in so many ways this past year, but its not a reason to stop being hopeful. To whoever is reading this post, things can only get - BETTER
(Not trying to sound too self-indulgent)I want to be rich - and share it. I want to have an abundant life and I want to savor the blessing of faith, experience, people, and life for as long as our Lord allows me. And just in case he feels a little more generous, the tangible part would be appreciated too..
Mood:  contemplative
Music: Telephone Ringing
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2008.03.17 12.26
Drew
I was browsing through multiply when I chanced upon the side of my toolbar.
I saw something which reminded me so much of happy days.
Happy Birthday Drew! We miss you!
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2008.03.12 06.23
Thinking again
Dago, i didn't know how to start my post so gagayahin na lang kita.
___________________________________________________________________________
There are two reasons why I am blogging right now.
1.) I'm thinking and being too objective again (which i certainly am)
2.) I've been up since 2:30 am (which really sucks)
I have to get ready for work in an hour but my spirit and thoughts are fleeting. I never really imagined that this whole relationship thing could be so difficult. It can get very very confusing especially when there innumberable things I cannot understand and comprehend.
I ask myself then wht makes a good relationship.
1.) honesty
2.) trust
3.) excellent communication
4.) attraction and connection
Have I been this? I take a step back and look and guilt consumes me. Only change can shatter me this much and make me vulnerable.
Does he even know? Does he understand what I'm going through?
I must resist. I must hold back for both our sakes
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2007.12.28 15.41
hmm...
i'm so -- ---- with you! (fill-in the blanks shit)
happy.. thank you for the flowers and the hugs and the many beautiful moments together.
i know everything will be better. I don't have to pity myself anymore.
i have YOU.
__________________________________
I'm an adorable little weirdo
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2007.12.19 12.48
yes
"a great love story is not about a perfect couple.. its about 2 imperfect person enjoying there differences together."
i could not agree more.
thank you for being.. YOU.
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2007.12.12 09.47
this month
queerly, something changes in me every month.
if you've all noticed i practically have a rant or a rave almost at the same time each month, I wonder why though.
this time so many things are different and in a way i'm getting scared of the what might be's be. Friday is our day. I pray all goes well..
pray for me, pray for him, pray for us
by the way
yot - you are my angel. thank you very very much!
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2007.10.19 17.03
me
i feel cheap.
i feel like a fucking wh*re.
i need some clarity. i need wisdom.
i do not need a person who fucking misuses me and misuses my talent just for personal gain and gratification.
i VALUE my life and i value my personhood. Seem's like this time concern and care has taken a fucking wrong turn.
be careful and be watchful.
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2007.10.18 15.06
shitty day
shitty shit shit
wag niyo ako gulohin. unless you want to pay.
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2007.10.13 22.35
What to do to take your blues away..
Today has been an exciting, fulfilling and really relaxing day. After the busy and bewildering week I've had I'm really glad I did what I wanted to happen today. I went on a shopping and adventure date! This day started out pretty messed with arguments that tried to stop me from really enjoying and destressing myself. But I'm really adamant and many times stubborn so I followed my heart. Though I must admit that much wisdom comes from my parents especially when it comes to safety and health, I still think I needed to do this, at the very least for myself. True, that lately I have been so distracted simply because I'm confused about certain things but what I realized is that It's okay to have these feelings as long as I don't harbor and harp on them. It becomes dangerous when pondering and inquiry turns into worry, it can be destructive in the physical, emotional and mental sense.
So I started this day with the activity that brings me much delight, my passion, dancing ballet of course. It was an hour and a half class at Woodrose. Admittedly, I felt so lazy to get ready but then hello, I pay for my classes so I better get my act together and start fixing up and besides I don't want to be out of shape when I get started with the workshop for ACB and for the recital as well. It was a pretty challenging and fast class but it felt fantastic to be back and dancing really. Following the mornings joyful beginnings, I hitched with Tita Grace near town to McDo where I met my partner in crime, Jayjay! Concidentally, just as I was getting out of the restroom, boom there he was coming out of the Gents WC. We took a jeepney to Metropolis to get a bus to Lawton to be able to go to Divisoria. Jayjay does know his geography of Metro Manila quite well so we took an aircon bus headed for Manila. Arriving Manila City Hall we hailed a jeep to Divisoria however, soince traffic was horrible upon entrering Chinatown we decided to walk from Ongpin. Walking along Juan Luna was fun, different things appealing to the senses come before you as you traverse the busy streets! During our first few minutes upon arriving at 168 mall we were ablt to strike fantastic finds namely a pair of jeans (for us both) and an adorable striped shirt. The next few minutes went on as a blur as we weren't able to find anything interesting to buy.
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2007.09.20 10.09
you..
you are my addiction.
i'm hooked on you.
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2007.09.19 21.32
i have no regrets with what i share with you. to say that i miss you right now is a total under estimation, not because of the physical proximity between us right now but there is so much i am holding back right now from you because of the reason that it cannot be said... yet
you're really unpredictable right now and it muddles up everything in my mind and in my heart. Coldness and indifference sometimes come into play
id like to think I'm important to you too.. i just dont understand me right now. i brought myself into this and how long i will hold back I dont know. you are one of the most important things in my life right now.
why i do this to myself i dont know?
Help me. I'm lost.
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2007.07.02 20.55
for you.
it is such a shame how we tend to judge or accept people, that its always double standard. We say its okay for our other friends to fool around but when it comes to people we care about the most, there is a vehement opposition or desire to veer them away from such.
i know im being unfair to myself. i know i am acting stupid. but how do i tell you, i get very hurt whenever you tell me about them. how do i tell you its not okay anymore.
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2007.05.29 12.48
In Loving Memory of Earl Andrew Gloria
The news shocked me and brought me to tears while at work yesterday. Questions and fears just kept racing through my head. Why.. how..
I feel sucky because of the fact that after spending an hour looking through my computer, I realize I don;t even have one picture with you.. (except maybe the one from the SPO orientation).
I know we weren't able to spend so much time together but the experiences i had with you are simply irreplaceable. You were always full of energy to share a smile, a hug, and lots of comforting and enlivening words..
You were always one of the reasons why Malateños had smiles on their faces or a bout of laughter to share.
I will miss you Earl Andrew Gloria!
We will miss you..
P.S.
I know i'm being so emo right now. I hope you're laughing your heart out.. just as you always do..
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2007.04.15 13.31
Hey there: your contact details please..
Hey guys,
I lost my phone last night, i would
really appreciate if you could send me
your contact details. You can send it
to me through Friendster or through my
e-mails sheena_shroff@yahoo.com,
shroff_sheena@yahoo.com
Cheers,
Sheens
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2006.11.03 00.59
not so happy halloween
there's a mumu in our office.
it locked me in the bathroom yesterday (for a second)
then i ran.
and freaked out..
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2006.11.03 00.57
rant.. rant..
i regret not going back to nestlé.
big time.
i wish things could be better. the people are really nice but sometimes i cannot come to accept certain realities that i hope do not exist. just a little time more then it will be over. (sigh)
at times life is about trade-offs... choices...
and apparently you have to live with the conseqences...
wether you like it..
or not.
Mood:  crappy
Music: do i need a reason
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2006.09.08 16.56
mos
yot and jill, i love you dears... you were great.. this MOS would not have been so successful without you
section editors, managers and support staff .. thank you so much for the patience, energy, understanding and support..
mos 2006 participants .. i am very proud of you all.. congratulations and welcome to malate
cresta monte..till we meet..
again.
MALATE. ilove you.
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2006.01.18 23.09
pain.
i have absolutely no idea with what's wrong with me. My chest is in a painful state. I can feel a reverberating pain just inside my chest cavity, i have so many problems right now, a lot of people don't know that. just when I think i'm taking it well my bodily functions disagree..
if something happens to me please just pray for me..
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2006.01.15 18.49
Feeling High
Yesterday was one of the best days this past month...
I never imagined you would be this nice to me...
You're so much fun to be with..
Wish we could hang out more often..
Only, this might be the last..
Hay..
Mood:  giddy
Music: Whirrrrr...
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2005.12.01 14.04
...
| Your Birthdate: March 4 | 
You have an extraordinary character - moral, responsible, and disciplined.
Your sincerely and honesty shine through in almost every situation.
Driven and focused, you rarely let your emotions get the better of you.
You're level headed and rational. People count on your to look at things objectively.
Your strength: Your unwavering loyalty and ethics
Your weakness: Your rock solid stubbornness
Your power color: Navy blue
Your power symbol: Shield
Your power month: April |
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2005.10.25 00.06
undefined
its really been quite sometime since i last posted here... its not that nothing noteworthy has come up, rather too many things have been keeping me preoccupied with concerns which I at times consider to mundane and irrelevant.
i guess the greatest consolations i have had was to have been dancing, 2 weeks ago it was my ballet recital and just last weekend groove dance competition. it's really refreshing and rejuvinating to dance and organize details of the performance. i wish i had the same enthusiasm when it comes to academics.
for the past 7 weeks my grades have been kamote, siopao and lechon... in short an unexplainable mess. gone are the days when i could easily put off things, everything nowadays always has to be instant and immediate. hay.. hay...
i feel that somethings wrong and somethings missing... but overall, i think i'm managing fine...
i just realized something a few moments ago...
i miss you...
i miss your eyes that wrinkle when you smile.
i miss your short curly brown hair.
i miss your gentle voice.
i miss your dreamy eyes.
i miss your adorble smile.
you still look cute in a pair of blue jeans.
you still look handsome in a plain white pullover.
you are my saving grace...
i just wish you could be mine..
Mood:  lethargic
Music: Jojo-All I want is you
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2005.06.30 11.26
steady..
i like this day
it's restful yet productive
i woke up late but i was still in time for work. i was in a state of deep slumber last night, the longest yet in the past 3 weeks.
last night i danced with passion and desire. i feel so out of shape but soon it will be back.
trickling sweat..
pounding heart..
breathlessness..
memories of the night i can never forget..
hope y'all are chillin' amidst the hurly-burly moments..
i off again.. back to work..
i'm loving this.
ciao.
Mood:  relaxed
Music: lifehouse -- everything
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bebe_sheens's journal
annoyed
tired